2004-12-30
OTHER VOICES
On suppressing one's feelings
...I was vowing never again to show pain, or accept, or forgive, or give satisfaction, or feel deeply, or love.
I would henceforth count on no one and nothing but myself. And so, on a hint from Hollywood and in flight from my pain and confustion, I buried my treasure and decimated the powers that people the City of the Heart
In closing myself off to protect myself, I damaged myself in ways I couldn't forsee at the time
...but my vow helped me to survive, and Thank God, I made it. My vow was the deepest and most enduring of self-punishments
On suppressing one's feelings
...I was vowing never again to show pain, or accept, or forgive, or give satisfaction, or feel deeply, or love.
I would henceforth count on no one and nothing but myself. And so, on a hint from Hollywood and in flight from my pain and confustion, I buried my treasure and decimated the powers that people the City of the Heart
In closing myself off to protect myself, I damaged myself in ways I couldn't forsee at the time
...but my vow helped me to survive, and Thank God, I made it. My vow was the deepest and most enduring of self-punishments
EXCERPTED FROM: Young Man from the Provinces; A gay life before Stonewall © 1995 | OTHER WRITINGS OF Alan Helms: Whitman's 'Live Oaks with Moss' | Alexander: A Film Review |
¶ 08:49
