2006-03-25
space exploration
Brittlactica: A Planet in Need
This must be seen to be believed. There is now incontrovertable proof that there is life on other planets; humanoid life, at that. Unlike the blank cypher portrayed by David Bowie in The Man who Fell to Earth the citizenry are perhaps better known, even if we remain unaware of their presence among us.
They are desperate for certain of the resources our planet has and takes no mind to, except when considering that the cost of the life-enriching elixer coveted by Brittalica's populace costs around $3.50/USD per gallon. Pretty cheap by comparison.
Clearly, from this astounding expose, it leaves no doubt that our planet has been visited by extra-terrestrial beings. [Makes me wonder just exactly ths Bushco Regime is doing about this threat.
I would venture to guess, clearly NOTHING! They probably can't figue out how to get Halliburton to profit from the endeavor; Though I suspect that is only a matter of time before they figure out how to scam the populace on the matter.]
What, you ask dear reader is at stake here? Well, nothing less than the possibility of a race of desperate [albethey possibly otherwise quite benign] race of beings with superior space travel technology and [probably] grossly superior military weaponry who would come to the planet, plunder it for possession of probably the entire bovine population so they can use them for their survival, not ours.
Since, according to documents somehow purloined from the Brittlactican's own extraplanetary media [probably thanks to some dissident political group] we can safely surmise that these aliens would be immune from the germs that saved us from the Martian Invasion of Earth in 1938 [as courageously documented at the time by Orson Welles and the news team from Mercury World News, only to be later re-invented by Earth's Macheavellian leaders as a "hoax", to soothe the masses] so we cannot pray that the Divine Spirit will so intervene in this situation. The two data chips liberated from the Brittlactian oligharcic leaders, that have documented the occasional [and possibly inadvertent] interactions between we relatively helpless humans and Brittlactican alien experimenters
also provide evidence that we are most certainly scared shitless of these beings. Probably rightfully so.
Now, maybe, just maybe Brittlacticans are still not immune from Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) [you know, Mad Cow Disease] and maybe, if they have been ignorant of the discussions and trade tensions between Terran nations about this, maybe we could make sure that a goodly number of infected Elsies and Ferdinands are intentionally included in herds that this alien race has already abducted from this planet and shall continued so to do in the foreseeable future. We cannot be assured that our race shall be protected from this.
I remain troubled that there is only one public interest group attempting to warn us about this. Where are our government leaders? What shall we do? Woe is me! It does allear that, at long last, the sky is actually falling, and we are doing nothing about it.
More to come on this but don't expect to hear about it from Fox News.
This must be seen to be believed. There is now incontrovertable proof that there is life on other planets; humanoid life, at that. Unlike the blank cypher portrayed by David Bowie in The Man who Fell to Earth the citizenry are perhaps better known, even if we remain unaware of their presence among us.They are desperate for certain of the resources our planet has and takes no mind to, except when considering that the cost of the life-enriching elixer coveted by Brittalica's populace costs around $3.50/USD per gallon. Pretty cheap by comparison.
Clearly, from this astounding expose, it leaves no doubt that our planet has been visited by extra-terrestrial beings. [Makes me wonder just exactly ths Bushco Regime is doing about this threat.
I would venture to guess, clearly NOTHING! They probably can't figue out how to get Halliburton to profit from the endeavor; Though I suspect that is only a matter of time before they figure out how to scam the populace on the matter.]What, you ask dear reader is at stake here? Well, nothing less than the possibility of a race of desperate [albethey possibly otherwise quite benign] race of beings with superior space travel technology and [probably] grossly superior military weaponry who would come to the planet, plunder it for possession of probably the entire bovine population so they can use them for their survival, not ours.
Since, according to documents somehow purloined from the Brittlactican's own extraplanetary media [probably thanks to some dissident political group] we can safely surmise that these aliens would be immune from the germs that saved us from the Martian Invasion of Earth in 1938 [as courageously documented at the time by Orson Welles and the news team from Mercury World News, only to be later re-invented by Earth's Macheavellian leaders as a "hoax", to soothe the masses] so we cannot pray that the Divine Spirit will so intervene in this situation. The two data chips liberated from the Brittlactian oligharcic leaders, that have documented the occasional [and possibly inadvertent] interactions between we relatively helpless humans and Brittlactican alien experimentersalso provide evidence that we are most certainly scared shitless of these beings. Probably rightfully so.Now, maybe, just maybe Brittlacticans are still not immune from Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) [you know, Mad Cow Disease] and maybe, if they have been ignorant of the discussions and trade tensions between Terran nations about this, maybe we could make sure that a goodly number of infected Elsies and Ferdinands are intentionally included in herds that this alien race has already abducted from this planet and shall continued so to do in the foreseeable future. We cannot be assured that our race shall be protected from this.
I remain troubled that there is only one public interest group attempting to warn us about this. Where are our government leaders? What shall we do? Woe is me! It does allear that, at long last, the sky is actually falling, and we are doing nothing about it.
More to come on this but don't expect to hear about it from Fox News.
FOUND AT: Universe Today |
Labels: humor, space exploration
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